Ask Aram - Unconventional Sources of Wisdom

00:00:01:22 - 00:00:26:16 ASK ARAM HOST: Hey everyone, welcome to the episode. So ask around flips the script one step beyond podcast guests and listeners submit their questions and ask around anything. Questions can be music, life stories, business leadership advice, how to make the best vegan omelet, You name it around, unpack your questions and leave you with info you can apply before we get to it. Please rate review and subscribe. 00:00:26:19 - 00:01:01:15 EMMA SMITH (ZIMT CHOCOLATES): Hi Aram, My question for you is who or what has been your least conventional source of wisdom? And what from there wisdom can you share with us? ARAM: There's two. My best friend, Dave Larson, and a client turned friend named Peter Gordon. I apply things that Dave Larson has told me to my business constantly. We work in a corporate structure, but I would say the person I go to for advice the most is my best friend, who is a self-employed person in Seattle, works out of his house. 00:01:01:16 - 00:01:26:14 ARAM: He's not really worked in a corporate setting and really has been self-employed for most of when I've known him. The lessons that he's learned is just based off of just being a person in the world, running a punk record label for a lot of years. All the advice comes from these, like really interesting spaces. But the thing that I've learned from Dave is so much about really focusing on a believing in yourself. 00:01:26:14 - 00:01:43:21 ARAM: And I know that sounds corny, but I'm like a pretty sensitive person. So like if I get if I get a lot of negative criticism or if something bad happens, or if I just feel uncertain in something, I will default to, Oh, I'm an idiot, I'm a bad person. Like, why did I make that choice? Like, I don't know what I'm doing. 00:01:43:23 - 00:02:04:17 ARAM: And there's very few people who believe in me the way that Dave believes in me. And I would say that whenever I call him and ask him something, not only does he have like good advice of kind of a good perspective on it, his default is like, Dude, you've got this. And it's a bit unconventional in the sense of he's not giving me like business strategy or helping me like figure out how to do something from this perspective. 00:02:04:18 - 00:02:20:01 ARAM: In fact, sometimes he'll tell me things and I'll just be like, Now that's that's no good. But the default of like, this cat believes in me so much and it's just such a source of being able to, like, lean into someone and just be like, I guess like relax a little bit and be like, All right, I'm not a fuck up. 00:02:20:01 - 00:02:43:14 ARAM: I'm not an idiot. I do know what I'm doing. And it's a little bit more than that. Dave has really helped me feel like it's not arrogant or cocky to be like, Oh, I actually know what I'm talking about. And in fact, if you're an expert on something, you should feel pretty comfortable speaking about that in a pragmatic way because I came up in the punk scene and like, obviously I love punk and hardcore, but to quote like Walter from GB in Quicksand, he's like 00:02:43:14 - 00:03:06:22 WALTER SCHREIFELS: For people that don't know about hardcore. It's a real salty audience to begin with. A lot of salt in it just from it's one of the main ingredients. ARAM: It's interesting growing up in punk because like you get criticized a lot for things, and especially if you're someone who's like kind of like a riser, like you're doing stuff and like you're doing different things. I've had like a lot of experiences with people in the punk scene, but also like friends who, like, really, like, critiqued me a lot when I was doing different things. 00:03:06:22 - 00:03:21:00 ARAM: Like when I started coaching, it was my friends who were like the most negative about it. And also when I started Cadence, I remember like people being like, Who are you to start this company? And like, what is this corny thing you're doing? And also kind of like sort of making fun of me like, like Tony Robbins kind of stuff. 00:03:21:00 - 00:03:39:23 ARAM: And it really like, it really bothered me a lot. Like, I was really, really cause me to doubt myself leaning into Dave on these things. It's always just been like, Oh, now, dude, you totally know what you're doing. And like, this is a great idea and you should do this. And like, I believe in you. And then as I've developed more real expertise, he's been the one be like, You should call yourself an expert. 00:03:39:23 - 00:04:11:15 ARAM: You should feel comfortable about positioning yourself that way. You should get on stage and talk in front of three or 4000 people from a space of expertise because that's what they want from you and that's what I want from you. And that kind of like wild leap into not just believing yourself, but actually allowing yourself to really be like, Oh no, I actually am an expert and understanding that your friends are going to bust your chops and they probably don't see you as that because they don't understand your world and not being mad at them about it, giving them a bit of mercy, but really just being like, I'm an expert, I'm comfortable with that. 00:04:11:15 - 00:04:28:19 ARAM: I'm going to take that space. That's what I've learned from Dave. But that kind of like unconventional going to someone who's not like necessarily like a business leader in kind of the traditional sense, but someone who's just like really understands self leadership has been invaluable to me, a constant resource. And Dave, I just love you the best. Thank you. 00:04:28:22 - 00:04:49:15 ARAM: The other one is Peter Gordon. When I started this company, I had just like exited from another company that's like kind of sorta similar and they had tried to basically like lock me up pretty hard. Like basically be like, you can't start a new company. Like if you do, we're going to sue you. Like, these are all like, like ham fisted, like you shall not do anything. 00:04:49:15 - 00:05:04:18 ARAM: And I was like, whatever, like cadence, like so much different than the other companies that I worked at. But there was like a lot of legal threats and I was like, you know, I was out of a job. I was like suddenly independent and I was terrified of being sued. Like, because you know, who can handle who could handle that? 00:05:04:18 - 00:05:23:06 ARAM: Right? And when I got my first, like, threatening legal letter from them, I was like, tears in my eyes and, like, I'm ruined. Like, you know, I've been sued. And I called Peter Gordon, really great business leader and just like a very interesting guy. So I called him up and I was like, Peter, I have to tell you something. 00:05:23:07 - 00:05:39:12 ARAM: The company I used to work at has threatened to sue me, and I said it as if, like, the worst thing of the world. It happened to me. And there was silence and he just started laughing his head off. He was like, Well, congratulations. You have a real business now. And I was like, horrified. Like, What do you mean, I have a real business? 00:05:39:12 - 00:05:57:13 ARAM: He's like, You know that part? And Goodfellas, where the character gets busted selling Cigarets and he goes to jail and he he thought that he was in big trouble. And they're like, No, congratulations. Like, you're like a real gangster now. He's like, It's kind of like that. And businesses, like, congratulations, you're a real business. There's no business out there that does real business. 00:05:57:13 - 00:06:16:16 ARAM: Like that is like a serious business that doesn't have legal problems or gets like some kind of letter like that. He's like, this is just an indicator that you're like an actual business, that you've created something that they recognize they're trying to threaten you off of. He's like, If anything, you should frame that for him. That letter, which I didn't do, but he's like, You should frame that letter as a reminder. 00:06:16:16 - 00:06:30:23 ARAM: Every time it happens is kind of jarring because you're like, Oh, crap. Like, you know, you don't want to be in bad blood. And so now every time it happens, I don't laugh about it because it's jarring. But I always say like, okay, like we're a real business. Like if we get something like this, this means that we're on to something. 00:06:30:23 - 00:06:50:13 ARAM: Now. Also, it's like, don't sue people if you don't need to because that's like such a shitty move and take your legal stuff seriously. If you get a legal letter, you might not be in the wrong, but you should always take it seriously. So it's not something to be celebrated, but it is an indicator that you're doing something that at least is like real enough that people are like, Hey, you see? 00:06:50:13 - 00:07:05:10 ARAM: Yeah, those are two, I guess, unconventional sources and lessons that I can share. We want to hear from you, our audience, to submit your questions, send us a message, drop us a DM or comment on our social channels.