Episode Transcript
[00:00:02] Speaker A: Hey everyone, welcome to the episode. So ask a Ram flips the script one step beyond podcast. Guests and listeners submit their questions and ask a Ram anything. Questions can be music, life stories, business, leadership, advice, how to make the best vegan omelette, you name it. Aram will unpack your questions and leave you with info you can apply before we get to it, please rate, review, and subscribe.
[00:00:29] Speaker B: I know the saying is there are no dumb questions, but in the professional setting, I know this isn't true. When should I be asking questions?
[00:00:38] Speaker C: You ask questions to drive action. And there's two ways of doing it.
Setting like what the direct action is, or clarifying to get to action. To drive action, specifically, like, what are the next steps? It's like, hey, hey, who's doing what? It's what we call a call to action. So what are the concrete next steps? How long? So what's the timeframe and who's doing it? So that's the first kind of question that you want to be asking. It's like, what is this specific action? And it's a call to action question. The other one would be clarification to get to action. So you're having a conversation. You just want to understand something so that you can suggest or be part of suggesting what a next step is. So everything should be question asking to drive action, even if the action is your next step. What I really encourage people to get away from is things like playing devil's advocate or asking questions just to like, take up space. If you're in like a one to one conversation or you're in a team conversation, that's just conversational. So it's not high value or high stakes. You got more like leeway to ask questions that aren't necessarily about driving action. But if you're in a high stakes meeting or a high value meeting, you can really waste people's time and turn people off. I also just want to say from like the devil's advocate space, it's like, listen, try Google. Like, look things up on your own. Do your own research. Like, look things up. Like, don't, don't expect. Just because I have a question, the person in front of me needs to answer this. A lot of times people make an excuse to ask wasteful questions and go into the beginning part of like, are some questions, like stupid questions or there are no stupid questions. It's like, I don't want to say they're stupid questions, but there's stupid reasons for asking questions. There's like, indulging yourself, wasting other people's time thinking that your interest in a subject is more important than like, whatever else is going on. Are there stupid questions? Like, I mean, I'm sure there are stupid questions, but I think more. It's just like the motivation for asking questions is what I really encourage people to think about is this driving action. Either it's going to identify the next step through a call to action, or it's going to help us figure out what the next steps would be if it's not one of those two things, and you shouldn't be asking questions unless it's in like a one to one setting or a conversational team setting.
[00:02:54] Speaker B: I got a new job recently, but I'm worried I made a mistake. I make more money and have a higher title, but I miss my old team. We were close knit and there's nothing like that at my new company. How can I build relationships and find my place at my new company?
[00:03:10] Speaker C: You got to decide what's more important, comfort or growth. If it's comfort, then there's totally nothing wrong with sticking to the familiar places where you know people well and you kind of nurture that dynamic. It's no problem at all. If it's growth, then you're going to go into a place that feels uncomfortable, it's not going to feel as nice, and you got to figure out how to build a relationship in there or how to build the kinds of relationships you want. When we go into places that aren't as familiar or relationships that aren't familiar, or team cultures or company cultures that aren't as familiar, we do have a choice about whether or not we kind of recoil from that and seek the familiar or really expand our vision. The way you build great relationships is use the stuff that you know that worked for you in your last company, that felt good and all of that. But don't assign that as being good in other ways, as being bad. What I'd encourage you to say is, like, this has worked before, and if it doesn't work here, I'll adapt and I'll try new things. You're the beginning of something super cool, you know? It's that new job isn't just about title and isn't about. Isn't just about money, and it's not that it's not about those, but it's not just about those. It's also about learning what good can be like in a different. With a different group of people with a different culture, a different place. But if you're doing comparatives of this was good and so the thing that I was doing before was good, or the thing I was a part of before was good. And this is bad. That's not going to work out well. Instead, this worked before. I'll apply what I can to it and then get a chance to really figure out what could be better than good, what could be great, what could tease you, tease out parts of you didn't even know existed. So don't go from a comparison space, go from porting over some of those things, applying it, but also being able to grow and be flexible.
[00:04:57] Speaker B: My boss is a jerk. Our relationship isn't great, but I do like my job and want to keep it. What can I do to improve our relationship or at least repair some of the damage already done?
[00:05:07] Speaker C: Probably nothing. And you shouldnt focus on that.
Instead focus on the other three parts of work that matter. Not necessarily more, but also add a lot of value. So when I think of people enjoying their job and staying in a job and getting value out of their job, I think of four things. And they do go in this order of hierarchy. It's your connection to your boss. And that's not whether or not you like your boss. It's about whether or not your boss invests in you, gives you growth opportunities. You could actually really dislike your boss or like hate your boss. But if your boss invests in you, gives you good growth opportunities, puts you into interesting things, you don't have to like their personality, so to say, but I'm just going to assume that's not the case here. So the first thing that's most important is your direct relationship with your boss, your manager. The second is your relationship with your team. When I say your relationship with your team, I don't mean whether or not you like the people on your team. It's that do the people on your team help you produce the best level of work you've ever done? So do they actively pull barriers out of your way? Are they collaborative? Do they help you? Do you help them? Do you have a back and forth that allows you to be like creative while also being able to execute on things? The third thing is whether or not people like their job. Like if you actually enjoy what you do. And then the last is pay, benefits, work life balance and all of that.
You know, in North America, a bit in the world, but really in North America, we've been sold this idea that you're supposed to have like a great boss that you totally like your team is awesome. You love what you do and you get paid well and in reality, that's like, these perfect jobs are relatively rare. So having a boss that you really don't like is a relatively common thing. So what I encourage you to think about is, are the three other things. Do you have a great team? Do you like what you do and do you get paid well? If so, what I would be thinking about is focusing on those three things because you have, like, a pretty great thing there. If you're missing two of those things, you should consider trying a different job. If you're missing three of those things, you should definitely get out of your job and go. Go somewhere else. But if you're just missing one of those things, you just got to think what's more important to you. The relationship to the boss does matter, but structurally, what I'd encourage you to consider is, like, is this like the final boss? Basically, like, is this like the CEO of the company, or is this just a boss in a company? If it's a boss in a company, you can always think, well, this is kind of like up the ladder to next things. I'll probably have other bosses here. If it's a CEO you might want to consider if you want to stay. I wouldn't focus also so much on, like, repairing the relationship or trying to make it better, but being more specific about what you want out of the relationship. If you want stretch assignments, if you want stretch things, if you want to feel like you're being invested in, you should identify what those look like exactly. Don't make it vague. Don't make any vague asks. Identify what you want exactly and have that kind of dialogue. Or is it that you just want to minimize your interactions with them? Then focus on minimizing. Give things to them in writing, email them stuff. Show up to your meetings, like, totally prepared. Email things. Advance, just be in advance. Just be really tucked in. Having a bad boss is by far not the worst thing that's going to happen to someone professionally. If all the other parts are good of your work, but if the other parts of your work aren't good, then, yeah, you should definitely get out. I know that can be a tough pill to swallow. People often want to hear, like, oh, you should do this or that with your boss. No, like, just because someone's a boss doesn't mean that you have to spend your time trying to, like, fix it with them. But you also shouldn't ignore them. If you're planning on staying there, focus on the things that you're stoked on. Invest in those things and then be really specific about what you want to get out of that relationship and that's what you should make happen.
[00:08:43] Speaker B: How do I maximize meetings with my CEO? We get limited FaceTime and I want to make it count.
[00:08:50] Speaker C: Prepare everything in advance and send any material or talking points in advance. And by in advance, 24 hours typically will do. 48 hours is maximum. Don't send it 72 hours out because it'll be too far for CEO's. They don't have a lot of time, they don't have a lot of FaceTime, and they're really just looking for the headlines, uh, in advance so they can get into the conversation. And if they have to dig for information, they're going to get frustrated and just go into scan mode and direction mode. If you want to make the most of it, if you have points that you want to bring forward or that you want to talk about, send them the top level points in advance and then any kind of like the sub points. If you go past five points, they're not going to look. So it's like maximum five points with a couple sub points. I would encourage you should it like maximum really should be three. But you should also anticipate what questions they're gonna ask you in advance and apply the answer pyramid to them. So for anyone here who doesn't know what that is, just go to our YouTube page or any of that stuff, and we've got lots of things about the answer pyramid on there. Have your topics in advance, email it to them, and then prep your questions in advance. Write down your answers and just write down the answer, the bridge and the explanation. You don't need to bring those to the meeting, just know them in advance. I'd also encourage you, if you really wanna make the most of it, tape yourself on video. Being asked those questions a number of times just so you're sure that your answer is nice and tucked in and clear. What I encourage you to do when you're meeting with the CEO though, is in the first couple minutes or the first minute, say, like, did you get a chance to read over what I sent? I will guarantee you most CEO's won't have had time or will have forgotten about it or just didn't do it. And then you can offer and say, would you like to take a second to read through it? Giving a CEO time at the beginning of a meeting to review something you've sent them, especially if it's something that's more than just like a three or four bullet points that has any level of complexity, is a good discipline to get into even if it feels like it's eating up time in your meeting, it allows them to, like, really digest what you've sent and then ask the right questions. Otherwise, if you're trying to talk them through it, it's going to confuse them. Let them read it and just literally sit there in silence, then engage in the conversation. You really got to treat speaking with a CEO like high level content. Content is the most important thing. So is your content good? And remember, your content is like everything you know. It's like all your ideas, all your experience, all your education, all your gut feelings, all that kind of stuff. That's the first part of content, but the second part is your ability to express it clearly and concisely. If you show up with a CEO, send stuff in advance. Give them time to digest it in the meeting, if they need it, and you've already prepped your questions, your answers to questions, you're going to have really strong content, and that's going to matter to a CEO. If a CEO identifies you as someone who has strong content, it means you're going to have a strong relationship, and you will become a go to person who gets more time.
[00:11:45] Speaker B: What's a 360? My boss wants me to get a 360 report done, but I don't see the point. I know my strengths and weaknesses, and I'm working on them. Is this a waste of time and money? What are your thoughts?
[00:11:58] Speaker C: Get a 360. It's going to change your career. It's not a waste of time or money. And what it is is a assessment that's based on the observations of the people around you. So let me talk you through it and why it matters if you do any kind of sport, whether it's like running or golf or, you know, anything that, like, requires a repeated motion over again, over and over again, or like, a specific kind of motion that is part of doing something well. Most people will get to a point where they're trying to get better. They tape themselves and, like on video. And the reason you do it on video is so that you can see what you're doing wrong. Right or wrong. Now, taping yourself on a camera or an iPad or whatever, if you know what to look for, will help you. But if you don't know what to look for, then you're just looking at a video of yourself and being like, oh, look how good I'm doing that, or look how bad I'm doing it. But I don't know why it's bad. So most people have some sense of, of what they're doing good and what they're doing bad and how to work on it. But if you go, if I use a golf swing for an example, if you're looking at a video of yourself doing a golf swing, you might be like, I'm not doing it that good. And this is what I think I can do better. But if you sit down with, like, a golf pro or someone who's, like, a real expert, they could be like, yeah, I agree with you. That's what you're not doing well, but here's why you're not doing it well. And here are these two other things you're not doing that well, and here are the specific things you can do to improve it. Anyone from a generalist perspective can know what they're not doing right or wrong.
[00:13:28] Speaker D: Like, totally, like, you know, assuming you.
[00:13:30] Speaker C: Have any level of self reflection, that doesn't mean you understand the depth of the impact of, of what you're doing, why it matters, and then how to fix it. And that's why you want a 360. You want your audience to tell you, hey, not only this is what we're seeing, but this is the impact on us. And impact doesn't have to be some terrible thing. It just could be like, you know, if you're not a great communicator, it's like, oh, you're, you're taking up a lot of space. We're avoidant to bring in a conversation because we can't get the goods. Or it could be you cut people off, you don't show up well in meetings or you don't coach well. Maybe you're not a great listener. So you want to understand not just what the thing is, but also what the impact in the audience is, like, how it is showing up for them, how they feel about it. And then you want to create a plan to work on it. And you want to do that either with an internal coach in your company or a mentor or a coach like myself or one of our teams, if you want to, like, just kind of generally improve over time. Of course, most people can do that just by, like, existing on the planet.
[00:14:28] Speaker D: And I, and, like, coasting through life.
[00:14:31] Speaker C: But if you really want to get good at something, it's not enough to have a general idea of where you're not good. It's a specific idea and the why and how to fix it. And a 360 provides a lot of structure for that.
[00:14:44] Speaker B: I work for someone similar to Michael Scott from the office, and I could write a novel about what happens in our business unit. Can you share a funny or weird thing you've seen happen in a meeting.
[00:14:55] Speaker D: There's so many. I mean, I could go on and on. I'll tell you one that I often go to.
[00:15:01] Speaker C: Where you position yourself in a room really matters when you're using visuals like PowerPoint.
[00:15:07] Speaker D: And I saw a CEO really, really create a spectacle unintentionally.
[00:15:14] Speaker C: I was in this meeting, there was about 100 people in a room, and it was like all the leaders of this company, and they were really trying to focus on the culture of the company and really create a momentous. And they had this two day session that was really, really great. And at one point, the CEO came in and he hadnt been at most of the session. He came in to give this really passionate talk about culture and leadership, and it was great.
[00:15:39] Speaker D: It was super cool.
[00:15:40] Speaker C: But the challenge was he wasnt going to use any slides, and he forgot to turn off the PowerPoint projector. And this is when PowerPoints were just on that little cart that people would move around. So there was a slide from the last person, and on the slide was just like a stock image of someone.
[00:15:58] Speaker D: Like, making a joyful gesture like, like that.
[00:16:02] Speaker C: And the CEO didn't take it down and kept getting closer and closer and closer to the PowerPoint until finally they were standing right in front of the projector, and the projector was, was projecting.
[00:16:13] Speaker D: This slide right onto his chest. And either he didn't notice or didn't.
[00:16:17] Speaker C: Realize the impact that as he's speaking.
[00:16:19] Speaker D: About this stuff, he's got this image of this person being, like, on his chest, and he ends this, like, really lovely, and he's a lovely, lovely person, too. He ends this really lovely talk with this statement that it's probably one of.
[00:16:40] Speaker C: My least favorite statements that I hear people say. But he really did mean it.
[00:16:43] Speaker D: Um, he said, and it's really important.
[00:16:46] Speaker C: To know that culture eats strategy for breakfast.
[00:16:54] Speaker D: And he ended with his hands generally the same way the person on his.
[00:16:59] Speaker E: Chest, and was kind of looking at the crowd with sort of the same face, and it looked like he had.
[00:17:04] Speaker D: Like a little mini me, like, projected.
[00:17:06] Speaker E: On him, like, like from total recall. The guy would, when the guy comes out of him, it was one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life. And everyone in the audience was like a mix of totally inspired and completely horrified at the same time.
And nobody, including me, said anything because you kind of couldn't.
[00:17:26] Speaker D: It just wasn't that thing. It was one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my entire life, like, outside of this work. And also, it's like one of those moments of, like, people, people, someone should have said something, but nobody said anything because it was the CEO. So there's a lot of stuff in there that you could take away from, like, oh, so just like, why don't people say anything? It was absolutely hilarious. And the person who it was, we'll leave names out of it. I think you're the best. If you're listening to this, and I hope you're laughing, too.
[00:17:58] Speaker B: We want to.
[00:17:59] Speaker A: Hear from you, our audience. To submit your questions, send us a message. Drop us a DM or a comment.
[00:18:05] Speaker B: On our social channels, our channel.
